Get out of your head
How to get out of your head
3 tips on how to escape self-consciousness and be more present - essential for effective communication.
The following 3 tactics are ‘states’ - and being in these states is within your control - so no excuses. These ‘out of your head’ tactics are learnable and your ability to use them will increase with practice - like most things.
Here’s your motivation for practising:
Self-consciousness or being ‘inside your head’ is a barrier that stands between you and the success of your business.
When you are too self-conscious you become:
- riddled with self-doubt
- swamped with ideas that are not clear enough to put into action,
- distant in your face-to-face communication with others (a trust breaker)
- Obsessed with ‘what others think about you’
- Lost in subjective thought and lacking in objectivity
I could go on.
None of the above are going to help you grow yourself and your business - so here is the far better alternative to this self-consciousness:-
- Be present
- Be permissive
- Be playful
If you practice being these - you will get out of your head and into the moment - you will become clearer and more engaging - good things will happen.
'Gradually I learned to be indifferent to myself and my deficiencies; I came to centre my attention increasingly upon external objects: the state of the world, various branches of knowledge, individuals for whom I felt affection.' Bertrand Russell
Why and how?
Here is a brief overview (although each would be the subject of an entire blog post).
1. Be present
‘..all you need to do in order to be present is to ignore one of the most basic human instincts you have: you need to stop thinking ahead.’
How To Be The Greatest Improviser On Earth - Will Hines
- Listen - really listen! Listen to others not the voices and scripts in your head.
- Responsive - be aware of what is going on around you.
- Curious - be keen to listen to the stories others tell and the stories the world has to tell.
2. Be permissive
Don’t be too confined by rules - unless they are legal requirements! Go with the flow and avoid getting hung up on right or wrong. Avoid making assumptions!
- Try to be non-judgemental (not always easy). We all make instant judgements and we all have unconscious bias - we are human. If you get those thoughts out of your head - give them a once over and put them to one side - you are opening up to being receptive to whatever communication comes your way.
- Be adaptable - be tolerant of people and environments that are out of your comfort zone - be ready to adjust, learn and flow!
3. Be playful
After all - you were a kid self-consciousness was far less of an issue!
‘Life without play is a grinding, mechanical existence, organised around doing the things necessary for survival. Play is the stick that stirs the drink. It is the basis of all art, games, books, sports, movies, fashion, fun and wonder - in short, the basis of what we think of as civilization. Play is the vital essence of life. It is what makes life lively.’ Play - Stuart Brown M.D
- Open up your child-like Imagination and create stories
- Bring a spontaneous energy to the dynamic.
- Embrace the unknown and unplanned
- Never cease to be curious and full of wonderment
‘A person who pays attention to an interaction instead of worrying about the self, obtains a paradoxical result. She no longer feels like a separate individual, yet her self becomes stronger’ - Flow - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
How else can you practice the skill of getting out of your head? Come to an Explory Story IMPROV for BUSINESS session - there is not better tool than IMPROV for escaping self-consciousness and being present. If you can get to Bournemouth - register for the next one now - make it happen.
If you wish to really work on challenges like - self-consciousness, presentation skills (ditching the script), networking skills.... well - all things that make you a truly relaxed, persuasive and engaging communicator - ask me more about my DIRECTOR'S CHAIR PROGRAMME - one-to-one coaching in person or via Skype.